Monday, October 21, 2013

I'm starting to get pissed off

One of the things new people ask about is your relationship status. I get it. Are you married? Do y'all have kids? have a boyfriend, right? Or a girlfriend? It's not like there's anything wrong with that.

Apparently there IS something wrong with being single. And that is starting to piss me off. When people tell me they are married or dating someone, i don't ask them why. But the first thing people ask me is why i'm not in a relationship. Like there must be something wrong with me. Or worse, they'll say, "Don't worry. You'll meet someone." I'm not worried. Yes, i get anxious about a lot of things, but this is not one of them. No one can wrap their head around the fact that i actually enjoy being single. I can do whatever i want, whenever i want and if i fuck up my budget or am late making payments on things, then i'm only hurting myself. Plus there's no one bitching at me for those things.

It's not like i'm sitting around, alone, pining for someone to sweep me off my feet and save me from a solitary life. Right now, i thoroughly enjoy my life. All of my needs are met by my friends. I have people to laugh with, people to shop with, people to art with, people to get crazy with, cry to, lean on, travel with, cook and eat with, watch movies with, talk to about anything (and i mean anything)... All the things couples depend on each other for i can find in my friends and family. Except for the sex thing. And even then, sometimes.. .  . And the money bit - no one is supporting or depending on me and i like it that way. Anyway, assuming that everyone needs another person to make them happy and normal is fucking rude.

And then there's the fact that every major relationship i've ever had (with ONE exception) has been fucking traumatizing. Seriously. And not like your normal bullshit - fucking terrible. I seem to attract liars like no one else in the world. And, occasionally, a sociopath.

I've dated a couple times in the past few years but i always find myself in the same frame of mind after just a couple weeks. They're going to screw up what i have going on. I gotta get out of this. And so i check out. So, yeah, maybe someday i'll meet someone who doesn't seem like they might fuck up every good thing in my life. But i'm not waiting for it and if it never happens it won't be the end of the goddamn world.

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