Sunday, August 18, 2013

Re: What happened to your head hairs?

Oh yeah? You're so perfect? You don't suck at anything, right? Well i do, even when i get to feeling invincible because i did one million things in row correctly. Clean the house with in an inch of its life. Mend the jeans that i've been sticking my feet through the knee holes in for two years. Make killer salsa followed by delicious enchiladas. Several other things. Yeah, i shaved my big toes without incident. And then, and then, i decide i can cut my own hair. So i do. And it's horrible. It's like the fourth worst haircut i've ever given myself. Do i stop there? No. I wait a few hours, enjoy a few more beverages and get out the clippers. Now... I think i'm at my second worst.

Here is where i would insert a picture of the hack job were i an owner of technology that doesn't suck.

So, yeah, that's what happened to my head hairs. Whatever. That shit grows back.

UPDATE: The delicious enchiladas have made me into a monster! I can no longer do anything besides lie moaning, sweaty, and drifting in and out of salsa-induced nightmares, waiting for the next bout of firey blasters to send me down the hallway. No amount of Tums and witch hazel can help me now. I fear it is the end. I'm comforted knowing that my hair will continue growing after death. I demand not to be cremated until after it looks acceptable again.

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